Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation that can have serious consequences on your mental and emotional health. It’s important to be aware of the signs, so you can take steps to protect yourself from its effects.
We hear a lot about gaslighting in relationships these days. I am delighted that we are now able to have information available for conversation and awareness to help us cope better and empower ourselves in negative situations. This information helps all of us on our life’s journey, to continue to do all we can toward positive interpersonal growth and self-care. The more we know, the better we can arm ourselves from individuals who emotionally struggle with power and control behaviors over others for their gain. These gaslighting behaviors can be forthright and intense to very subtle behaviors that are hard to notice. It is one thing if you work with or know someone who lightly is a bit controlling in situations but never takes it further. They may just be someone with a strong personality and opinion. Most people can interact and accept those with a strong demeanor as they are not necessarily placing their needs and wants onto others nor are they being abusive and manipulative toward others. However, to be gaslit by the significant person in your life, the person you choose to be more open, intimate, and vulnerable with, gaslighting can have divesting and deep consequential emotional effects.
How did the term gaslighting get started? It was derived from the 1938 play Gas Light. The main female character, who is gaslighted by her husband so he can cover up some of his own bad behavior, starts to doubt her memory and self-perception. This gaslighting term has been used in psychological terms since the 1940s and is now widely known today.
What is gaslighting? Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation that occurs when someone tries to control or dominate another person by making them doubt their reality. It works by using a combination of deception, denial, and false statements to make the target feel confused and uncertain about their beliefs, values, and experiences.
It describes a form of mental abuse that causes someone to question their reality and memories through manipulation tactics like constant criticism, contradictions, or accusations. Other forms of gaslighting include withholding information, withholding affection, playing mind games, and projecting negative traits onto their victims.
When gaslighting happens in relationships, it can be particularly damaging because it erodes your sense of self-worth. Signs of gaslighting include: questioning your memory; telling you what you “really” want or think; denying something they previously said or did; belittling your thoughts, feelings, and experiences; making excuses for their behavior; accusing you of being “crazy” or “too sensitive”.
Signs of gaslighting include lying, making excuses, denying the truth, shifting blame, and projecting guilt onto the victim. Gaslighting can leave victims feeling confused, anxious, isolated, and insecure—all of which can lead to severe damage to their self-esteem.
Why can’t I see I am being gaslighted? It’s important to remember that gaslighting is a form of manipulation, and it can be hard to spot. This is because people who gas lite are usually very convincing in the way they distort reality. They may also try to isolate their victims from friends and family, further restricting their access to support and understanding. When someone is subjected to derogatory, negative comments from someone significant in their lives slowly begin to take in the negative energy and messages without realizing that it wears on the soul and belief about oneself.
How does gaslighting affect your mental health? Being gaslit is more than feeling uncomfortable and confused. It is a direct intense negative energy coming at you that causes confusion and deep hurt. It often leads to low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), substance abuse issues, and suicidal thoughts or behaviors if someone is exposed to this treatment over and over again. It is important to recognize gaslighting as mental and emotional abuse so that you can take steps to protect yourself from further harm. Other effects of gaslighting are feeling trapped in the situation, feeling a deep sense of pain or sadness, and feeling a lack of control.
What are some ways of coping with the significant person that gaslights you? One way is to connect with supportive people who will listen and understand your experience without judgment. Talking to a therapist or counselor can also help you process your feelings and create a safe space for healing. Additionally, it’s important to practice self-care by engaging in activities like yoga, meditation, journaling, or anything else that brings you joy and helps ground you in the present moment.
How can I respond and cope with gaslighting? Although gaslighting can take an emotional toll on victims, there are steps you can take to protect yourself from its effects. It is important to start recognizing that gaslighting is happening and gaining an understanding of how it works. Educating yourself on the subject of gaslighting so begin to recognize the behaviors. It is difficult to recognize what is happening when someone is involved in this situation daily or often. Unfortunately, humans build a tolerance to negative situations to cope, at the expense of their health and well-being. This is a response to survival.
Another way to cope with gaslighting is to build self-support and self-recognition. Show yourself strength, love, and respect despite what you are experiencing. Celebrate your successes no matter how small they may be. These are the steps toward self-recognition and empowerment.
If gaslighting is happening in a relationship, it may be helpful to explore boundaries and communication techniques with a therapist if possible.
Finally, if gaslighting is taking place at work or in an academic setting, it can be beneficial to reach out for help from human resources departments/faculty advisors who can offer support as well as suggest strategies for dealing with gaslighting behaviors. The most important thing is to remember that gaslighting is never okay and you deserve better.
If you suspect that you’re being gaslighted, it’s important to have strong coping mechanisms in place. Taking care of yourself should be your top priority. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help if needed. You can call a therapist to get started on your journey to self-empowerment because you are important.
